marahmarie: Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell (Default)
[personal profile] marahmarie
  1. The food. Do hospitals pay bonuses to their cooks for making people sick? Forget eating this crap: merely looking at it will you send you running for a puke bucket. I can just hear the CEO at Dietary meetings: "Hey folks, listen up: Gladys, our cook, knocked herself out today on dry, chewy sliced turkey over last week's slimy smashed potatoes - it had'm cringin' at the checkouts! $50 bonus, Gladys! Now try for two meals that get'm heaving tomorrow...'K?"
  2. The elevators. There are never enough of them. If a hospital needs 100 elevators, it only has 30. The 100/30 ratio applies regardless of the hospital's size or how many people are stuffed into it like sardines, so if a hospital needs just 30 elevators to prevent long waits and pushing/shoving matches, it will have only five. This is true no matter which hospital it is, where it is, how old or new it is, whether anyone has ever been it or not, etc.
  3. The staff. I have more complaints in with hospitals for neglect, abuse, and mistreatment of my mother than most people file with any business in their lifetimes, and she's only been in these soulless, dreary human warehouses ("morgues for the living", I call them, "jail", my mother calls them) a month and half. "Wow, look at you, you're actually writhing in pain? You need to get on or off the toilet? Can't get up or sit down? No problem! But wait. We're sooooo slammed!" The night one nurse was too busy ordering lunch to get my mom pain med she'd been asking for for hours, I lost it. The director of Nursing and I are personal friends now. It's bullshit, what you go through in these places.
  4. The doctors. Hospitalists are the worst thing to happen to medicine since cooks started getting bonuses for food that looks like Satan crapped it out. She has so many she doesn't know who half of them are or why they're talking to her. They use a stop-watch to make sure no personal visit runs over 30 seconds. They walk in asking: "So how do you feel today, Ms. Mother of MM?" She replies: "I feel like whichever part of me didn't die last week just got run over by a Mack truck and I can't stop puking". They reply: "OK, Ms. Mother of MM, so everything is looking good, I'll check back tomorrow." They're at her bed when they reply, but they're in the hallway by the time the words "...check back tomorrow" are out, and they're usually in the elevator when you hear some echo come back that you later realize was the word "bye". The money they make, though, for this little speed visit? Unreal.
  5. The decor. This encompasses everything from puke-inspiring paint to asbestos-style ceiling tiles to glaring fluorescent lights to bathrooms that look like medieval torture devices to furniture, which is not just ugly but sparse to non-existent. I mean, what are hospital designers thinking when they put these places together? Humans are in them! Not alligators. How about wood floors? How about plentiful, attractive furniture? How about track lighting with dimmers? How about bathrooms that don't make you want to jump out a window? How about paint that's pleasing to the soul? How about flowers? Even artificial ones? How can anyone get better when everything is so fucking ugly?
  6. Lack of dorm fridges. I'm sorry, but this one makes me spit with anger. My mom, if nothing else, is on a completely unrestricted diet, which she can't hold down because she's pumped full of antibiotics that sport "puking" as the main side effect. But every once in a while, they give her an anti-puking drug that actually works, and on those days I'm running all over town getting food she's dying to eat and finally able to hold down. There's always leftovers, because half her stomach is lying in a trash bin somewhere, but no place to put them. And no place to keep cold drinks. Storing food and drink at the nurse's station? Forget it. The nurses take 10 days to bring anything you want from there.
  7. Lack of microwaves. If you have food you'd like to keep cold, chances are, you also have food you'd like to get hot. And drinks you'd like to re-heat. It's inexcusable, given the size of most private and double hospital rooms, and the fact that most people's hospital bills runs on average $1,000 an hour in these hellholes, that they can't hook up small dorm fridges and microwaves in any room that requests them.
  8. Complete disregard for patient's friends and relatives. It's inexcusable that even though I spend anywhere from 6-24 hours a day in the hospital, depending on my mom's condition (at my mom's last hospital, I spent so much time there, the nurses begged me to apply, since I was helping out as much as the LPNs and orderlies were, which took a lot of pressure off of them) that I have to sit on a thin, hard metal folding chair the entire time I visit. Some hospitals break out leather recliners and sleep couches for us visitors, some don't; this hospital doesn't, and this one has the lousiest patient care of the two. I don't understand why, if I'm practically living there to ensure my mom has good care, that I can't have a) a decent recliner, b) meals on the house (especially considering how they look and taste), and c) a paycheck. Consider this a 3-for-1 complaint.
  9. Lack of transportation for patient's friends and relatives. It's like they don't want you there. If you can get to the hospital but can't get home, tough; if you can't get there at all, tough; if you can get there once in a while but not all the time; tough. No one who runs hospitals thinks visitors have any beneficial effect on patient's physical or mental health whatsoever, so no special arrangements are made so we can be there.
  10. Smoke-free "campuses". I understand smoking's bad for you. I also understand the stress of my mom being sick and in the hospital got me smoking 2 packs a day overnight, and I further understand walking across the street and back, while it's helped me drop 10 pounds, also wears me out when I have to do it ten times a day under significant stress, and has made me lose my body weight in sweat several times over. There's no reason an outdoor area away from everyone else, but still remotely "on campus", can't be made for us puffers. What's the point of making us leave and come back to do something that takes, at most, three minutes, and won't harm anyone if it's done away from hospital foot traffic?


Marah Marie

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