The author pisses all over the laptop's parade for three, breathlessly delivered main reasons:
- all laptops will become bombs, or be treated as such, so no more knee-warmer for you
- only Apple makes laptops; Apple laptops absolutely blow
- only young people exist; young people don't age anymore and only buy smartphones and don't ever decide they want something more sophisticated or powerful, so there
While there's much ado about how powerful and sophisticated smartphones are becoming (for instance, 4K screens) there's no mention of how Android is about as secure as a pile of gold ingots left in a busy parking lot in broad daylight with a sign on top with the words "STEAL ME" written in foot high letters, nor of how a small screen that doesn't hold itself up when you need to type with both hands will always be a small screen that doesn't hold itself up when you need to type with both hands, and will be until smartphone makers figure out how to make a phone that unfolds, revealing not just a full-size screen but a full-size keyboard.
If I wasn't quite so stunned at what passes for deductive reasoning here I'd laugh, because the above list - if say, the author was kidding, and this was April's Fool Day - might actually be kind of funny.