Because now all of a sudden, for the first time in 2 or 3 years, I wake up naturally about 8:30 every morning even if I don't have to get up early - even after I stay up late - a really strange twist of events - so with all this extra time that I used to spend sleeping and the weather being less than ideal for working on my fledgling new Florida tan (it's cloudy! oh nos), I have nothing better to do than read what I have no time to read the rest of the time. Can you tell I'm on my 20th cup of coffee? I can (although I'm actually not...more like my second or third). You can measure my caffeine intake by my sentence and paragraph length...the more run-on they are, the more caffeine was responsible for them.
Speaking of run-on paragraphs, no one can hold a candle to Fake Steve. I can't stand him - but his post on the Google Chrome OS - the as-of-yet, non-existent Google offering that sends me into non-stop fits of laughter - is pretty good. His writing style is, as usual, somewhere between OK and complete crap - but this post is unusually hilarious and I'm in perfect agreement with him on oh, 100% of it. Some excerpts to get to what I agree with that didn't make my last post for fear of sending my friend bobdeloyd into word-counting fits (brevity is the soul of wit, no? according to some, lack of such would make both me and Fake Steve completely retarded):
"First of all, nobody seems to appreciate how goddamn hard it is to make an operating system. You don't just wake up one day and fall out of bed and make one."
"Point two: Who in their right mind thinks the world needs yet another desktop operating system? The hacks who are foaming at the mouth about this big threat to Microsoft are the very same halfwits who a couple years back were declaring that the desktop OS was dead..."
"Point three: They're aiming this OS (or as we call it, "POS") at netbooks, at least at first, and in case you hadn't noticed, the netbook market is fucking tiny and will remain so forever."
"Point four: You also may not have noticed, but nobody uses Chrome. I mean think about it. Do you know anyone who uses Chrome? Really? And you know why nobody uses Chrome? Because Chrome is shit. Just utter, utter shit. I mean they've got all these big brains at Google and you'd think they could make a decent fucking browser. Jesus, the freetards at Mozilla can do it. But not Google. Nope. They gave it their big best effort and what did they come up with? Chrome. It's a joke. I mean, literally, we laugh about it, except when Eric is around. But as soon as he leaves the room we all go "Chrome!" and just burst out laughing."
"Point five: What the fuck is going on inside Google? How much more out of control and undisciplined can this place get? How many new goddamn operating systems are they going to create? They've already got Android, and nobody wants it. Now they're going to make yet another operating system, this time out of a browser that nobody wants. What's next? A Gmail-based operating system? A YouTube-based operating system? Honestly, Google, is there anyone in charge over there?"
"Point eight: People are starting to realize that Google is not their friend, and that all this "free stuff" from Google is not about a) philanthropy, or b) keeping Microsoft honest, but really about c) helping Google gain even more control over what you do on the Internet."
Other things I don't like about the Chrome OS/other reasons people shouldn't use it that didn't make my over-the-top last post:
Google shouldn't be surprised if Linux code monkeys don't want to be treated like code monkeys just to give Google what it wants. Here you are: you're Google, and you want a new OS with your brand name all over it. So what do you do? Create one? Oh, good grief, no. You farm the work out to unpaid labor to keep your costs down, duh. Linux devs and coders are our modern-day version of slave labor, doing everyone's work for free (in most cases most of the time...there are exceptions but not enough of them to change the fact of the matter). We all know you can't get labor any cheaper than "free". But Linux devs and coders, "free" as they are, have one thing that Googlers drooling over their new bullshit OS seem to lack: enough brains to know they shouldn't do Google's dirty work, which will fragment the Linux code base even more than it is (we're talking serious confusion has already ensued and that confusion continues to drive away new adapters by not making the best choices apparent enough).
Privacy concerns. Why the fuck would anyone want an OS with an intrusive browser that runs an intrusive search engine, an intrusive suite of Googly apps, an intrusive updater (that is almost impossible to remove- don't get me started on that POS), and a ton of intrusive online web services that all track and store data on you 24/7? You know those "mounds of data" I mentioned in my last post? What did you guys think I was talking about...your IP addresses/geolocations? That's just the tip of the iceberg. Everything you do in every Google product, every GMail you get, read and reply to, every search you do, and almost every website you visit (thanks to Google Analytics and Google AdSense)...all of it is tracked and stored in Google's databases pretty much forever (with the newish exception of your searches, which are now supposedly deleted after "just" 18 months - still an eternity to have so much personal information on file with a huge monster of a company that at best just wants to monetize your brainwaves, and at worst wants to consume you into the Matrix).
When I began using the Web in 2004-2005 my first run-in with any company besides AOL was Google for not indexing one of my new blogs. At all. That led me to Daniel Brandt's Google Watch, which eventually led me to becoming a fan of other anti-Google sites (pretty much all of them, with a few I liked more than others). These days it seems it's "uncool" to be "anti" anything, including Google. Such sites die on the vine (but from 2004-2007 they were, um...to borrow from Paris Hilton? kind of "hot"). The reason for the anti-antiness is NOT that people aren't against big companies like AOL and Google: my gut feeling is that it's because so many of us agree AOL sucks, or Google sucks, that there is no real need to visit blogs that discuss "just that topic" anymore. So it's not that it's uncool because it's untrue that these companies need to fail; it's because we already know they're going to.
I know a lot of people don't see it yet and might not until it hits them in the face, but Google is, well...over: the arrival of Bing and the Chrome OS will mark their downfall the same way the Netscape acquisition finally marked AOL's. It's called "over-reaching", and with this OS, Google is now officially guilty of it. Google search hasn't improved enough in 10 years to be a worthy competitor to Bing, which will continue quickly evolving and improving, beating the pants off of Google sooner than later. If you're looking for signs as to how Google will turn out (and if you're into the symbolic/slightly metaphysical, like me) the Google Chrome OS might be just the sign you were looking for.