marahmarie: my initials (MM) (Default)

"Yahoo will be combined with AOL".

While I'm all for the synergies presented by Verizon owning both companies, I am - I realized after writing about it - *not* in favor of a) AOL being completely absorbed by Yahoo nor b) the opposite happening.

As I just got done bitching about under lock, if either thing occurs it means something like this fiasco might be the end result, which means I might have to blog again.

And noooooo, noooooo, noooooo. I don't want to.

ETA, minutes later: googled around and found The Verizon Yahoo purchase, explained. It seems Yahoo's the one shutting down about half of its "verticals" (aka, mostly their "websites") not AOL, which jibes with my thinking: AOL still has a vibrant sort of thing going on in some cases, traffic-wise, while Yahoo does not. Which also finally solves the riddle of Yahoo shutting down Messenger. Of course! Because now everyone can just use AIM. I knew something weird was behind that. I just never guessed what.

This is the better of the two folds for me because it means I won't have to blog. Historically I don't help people with losing their Yahoo stuff and have no reason to start now.

marahmarie: my initials (MM) (lol aol lol internets lol lulz)

And with that, the consummation of the union I've pined away for for 10 freaking years (synergies, man; all the synergies) is well underway. Wedded bliss, at long last!

Like many marriages, this one was arranged by the groom's dad (Verizon, the proud adoptive parent of AOL) after the would-be-bride (the regal and perpetually purple-attired Queen Yahooniti) freaked out about it, saying, "I will NEVER marry you! Stop telling me I've got male! I don't want it!!!"

Finally her parents were like, "Money, bitches. Show us the money, and you can have our daughter; otherwise she will never be yours". So they showed it - $4.8 billion pieces of it, to be precise, one handsome dowry, indeed - which even includes Tim Armstrong, who the Queen's secretly been crushing on for years.

And the Yahoonitis were pleased.

But then there's Marissa. What will become of her? At least until the transition completes, her and Timmy are coworkers again (co-CEOS, I guess? Stranger things have happened), which might make me titter under normal circumstances, but from what I've heard they get on rather well, or at least did over at Google...the synergies, man.

I'm just basking in the warm glow of all these synergies.