I'm a Poor I just love to recycle!11! I applied for membership at [Name of My Town] Freecycle the other day. I previously used Freecycle maybe 10 years ago in [Name of Last HomeTown] but abandoned it after a really long time because I was sick of the high volume of email and low quality of goods.
And people can be asses about meeting up, because they think everyone's a serial killer. So not only does any meeting have to be on a weekday between 9-5 in a public space on the sidewalk blocking foot traffic in and out of every nearby facility with as many people milling around in the parking lot as possible but it's preferable if 90% of them are cops, and even more preferable if a swat team or two stands nearby for further assistance. Because.
Yeah, I know: Craigslist started everyone's unending paranoia, and people really do die from using it, because maniacs really do just sit around posting fake ads to plot the mayhem they wish to carry out, but this is Freecycle...people are supposed to be nicer on Freecycle, right? Isn't this where all the sweet, Earth-loving treehuggers like to hang out?
But living in a bigger town these days and hearing that Freecycle has some pretty good stuff on offer compared to my last Freecycle, which offered nothing but a seemingly endless pile of shit, I figured I'd try it.
Hey, not so fast, toots! The Freecycle police want you to answer some questions.
On Monday, March 21, 2016 6:03 PM, [nameoftownredacted]freecycle Moderator [nameoftownredacted]freecycle-owner@
We need you to answer a few questions in order for us to approve your membership request. What intersection is your home nearest? What is the name of two non chain restaurants in [nameoftownredacted]? What is your zip code? Once we verify this information we can approve you.
So I wrote back because I like writing back.
To [nameoftownredacted]freecycle Moderator
Mar 22 at 6:51 PM
Intersection: [wrote in intersection]
Non-chain restaurants: [wrote in not just two, but three "non chain" restaurants, because my God do I love me some food]
Zip code: [wrote in zip code]
Then I added something, because when I write, I often like to add something.
Seriously I could have just googled all that. You're keeping out people who are too lazy to use Google, or too ignorant to know how to use it correctly, not non-residents in general, if they're motivated enough to cheat the system via Google search simply to get into your group.
That said, you can call me if you want at [phone # redacted] and I'd be happy to confirm where I live by looking out my window and describing the surroundings exactly as they are from my apartment directly off [name of street redacted]. If you don't approve my membership that's alright, since you approved [name of person redacted] a couple of weeks ago, and apparently without asking him all these questions. So I'll just browse your group via his account instead.
*sweats things for a while*
I figure they'd let me in under normal circumstances because I answered their questions more than adequately (but how could they know I answered correctly? Do they check people's answers against their IP addresses? For Christ's sake, you could even be spoofing that. Or applying for membership from clear across town or even the opposite coast because you're visiting friends out that way, so wtf?) but I figured they still might keep me out because of my attitude, which as usual, was pretty much along my typical grumpy lines of questioning-the-system. But when I checked my email a few hours later the reply was the standard, no-reply-needed: Yahoo Groups: Welcome to [nameoftownredacted]freecycle!